Nationals Racing President Bill: William Howard Taft Welcomed

The Washington Nationals unveiled their newest racing president on Saturday afternoon at Natsfest, William Howard Taft, or "Bill" as they are going to call him.  I think "Taft" is a better option, but it doesn't fit into their little first name basis naming scheme.  Whatever.

Everyone and their mother was on hand for the unveiling, a slew of reporters and photographers crowding the stage like Bryce Harper was going to come out.  Instead it was for a giant mascot.  When Bryce was up on stage, the cameras were much fewer.  Charlie Slowes couldn't believe the media frenzy, and neither could I.

By now you have probably seen 100 fan videos of the William Howard Taft press conference, so we shook things up with our version of the event.  Check it out:



Other Natsfest Videos

• Bryce Harper Disses The Crowd At Natsfest
• Danny Espinosa's Beard Takes Over
• Chicken Mode meets the DC Mayor
• Images From Natsfest
• Denard Span Goes Unrecognized

Teddy Finally Wins A President's Race, Basically By Cheating

Well the day finally came.  Teddy finally won a race.  And it was one of the most bizarre and unfitting ending to a terrible bit that has been going on since the racing presidents debuted in 2006.

And the joke that was Teddy & DC Sports comes to a close...

Teddy was losing by a mile, like usual, when all of a sudden some monstrosity of a fake Philly Phanatic came out onto the field and tackled the other three presidents.  (FP Called it a Phanatic Fetus) As the poorly constructed and super-fake Phanatic's nose fell off, he jogged by Teddy's side encouraging him to run fast towards the finish line.  Eventually the other presidents got up, but by then Teddy was already leaning his chest forward to break the finish line and take home his first ever victory.

It was a semi-meaningless game, the final one of the regular season.  The stadium was surprisingly full, but it just seemed like a strange time to win.  Although the more that I think about it, it wasn't that bad.

The crowd ate it up, chanting "Teddy Teddy Teddy" and with the stadium still abuzz on the results of the race, Ryan Zimmerman cranked a homerun to tie the game.  The crowd went wild.

Here is the GIF of Teddy's first win:

Dark Knight: Batman Abe Lincoln vs Teddy Bane Roosevelt

Here is the Dark Knight themed Presidents race from Nats Park on Wednesday Night.  Batberham Licoln man tackled Bane Roosevelt to prevent him from winning.

Screengrab Via MASN

Teddy Roosevelt Is DC Sports

On March 28th, 2008, an oversized plush mascot resembling the 26th President of the United States raced across some freshly cut grass.  The occasion was the first ever President's Race at the newly constructed Nationals Park.

Forty thousand people rose to their feet and laughed as they watched a giant Theodore Roosevelt screw around in the outfield and squander an opportunity to win the race.  Teddy, as he is more familiarly known, crossed the finish line, but it was too late.  He had lost.

What started out to be a fun gag at the ballpark has turned into a metaphor for sports teams in Washington, D.C.  Teddy is everything that DC sports are.  In fact, you could say that Teddy IS DC sports.  He is a loser.

Photo Thanks To Let Teddy Win

The last time that one of the major four DC sports franchises won a championship was when the Washington Redskins won the Super Bowl in 1991.  After some quick math you will realize that the victory took place 21 years ago.  Teddy hasn't won in over 250 races; DC franchises haven't won in over 21 years.

So why do we watch Teddy run when we know that he is destined to lose?  Maybe it is the same reason we watch the local sports teams when we know that they are destined to lose.  

We have hopes that maybe, just maybe, this will be the race.  This will be the race when the Capitals don't collapse before the finish line.  This will be the race when the Redskins don't run the wrong way.  This will be the race when the Wizards don't run out of steam in the homestretch.  This will be the race when the Nationals don't get attacked by a giant pierogie?

Well I'm sorry to say it.  Look at one of the greatest President's in our nation's history.  It may never be his race...and it may never be our race...

Just like Teddy, DC teams are often on pace for a victory, but in the end an egregious act causes their undoing.  Whether it be a high stick penalty, a player bringing guns in the locker room, signing  toxic free agents, or a coach quitting in the middle of a winning streak.  DC always finds a way to lose.

So next time you are at the ballpark watching a great President shamefully fail, take a second to think of the bigger picture.  Teddy and DC may never win.

As a fan all you can do is hope and scream...Let Teddy Win! Let DC Win!