As the church bells rang in the noon hour, it was time for
the ritual to begin. A man reached into
his giant goodie bag and yanked out an oversized knife and a bright yellow
rubber chicken. By his side, a younger
woman pulled out an old lighter from her jacket and a bundle of sage. Had anyone happened to walk by they might
have thought something nefarious was going on.
However, the actions of the two individuals were far from perfidious.
So who are these two shady characters and what were they
doing standing outside of Nationals Park on Thursday afternoon?
The woman, Jenn Rubenstein, is a also big DC sports
fan. Early in 2013, when the Washington
Capitals were in last place in the NHL standings, Rubenstein performed her own rubber animal sacrifice cutting off the heads of a rubber cow and goat. Ten weeks later the Caps clinched the
division title and are about to head to the playoffs as the #3 seed in the East.
Both Kaufman and Rubenstein were hoping that a sacrifice to
the baseball gods would have similar results.
WATCH THE VIDEO OF THE RITUAL
The Nationals are currently underperforming World Series
expectations and before Thursday night’s game against the Reds the team was
under .500 (10-11) for the first time in over a full season’s worth of
baseball.
The fans aren’t the only ones who are getting a little bit
perturbed and looking for answers.
Nationals veteran right fielder Jayson Werth suggested taking a page out
of 11 time NBA champion coach Phil Jackson’s book and start looking to ancient
rituals for a solution.
“Somebody was talking about Phil Jackson the other day. We need to call him up, have him come in here and burn some sage or something”
That is where Kaufman & Rubenstein come in.
Heeding the call of Jayson Werth, the two organized a meetup
at Nationals Park to burn some sage and get the Washington Nationals back on
the right track.
While Rubenstein provided the sage, Kaufman provided a wide
array of seemingly indiscriminate objects.
 |
| Ball signed by Walter Johnson & The 1924 World Champion Washington Senators |
A baseball autographed by the entire 1924 World Series
champion Washington Senators team. A
baseball bat signed by the 2013 Nats. A
screen printed lifesize Jayson Werth mask.
And of course, his signature rubber chicken.
Kaufman held up the prehistoric baseball next to the
baseball bat to try to will some of the championship juices out of the ball and
into the bat; from out of the old Washington Senators into the new Washington
Nationals.
After unveiling all of their superstitious objects, the two
Nationals fans began the ritual.
Rubenstein fought off the wind to light the sage while Kaufman
brandished the rubber chicken. With the
sage smoke billowing through the gates and into the stadium, Kaufman wielded
the rubber chicken over his head and swung it in circles.
Moments later, he pulled out his giant knife and cut the
neck of the rubber chicken, the echoes of the squeaking toy resonating
throughout southeast Washington. The
sacrifice to save a season had been performed.
 |
| The sacrifice is complete, another rubber chicken bites the dust. |
Rubenstein continued to walk the perimeter of the ballpark
as if to make sure that every last square foot of the centerfield gate area
received the power of the sage.
The ritual was complete…
While some would say that 21 games into a season is too
early to be cutting the heads off of chickens, both Rubenstein and Kaufman
walked away from Nats Park on that Thursday afternoon knowing that it didn’t
hurt to try. And that night the
Washington Nationals defeated the Cincinnati Reds 8-1. So far so good…
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