Top 10 Alan Porter-isms

DC Sports Nexus ---- Thursday, September 20, 2012

Last night during the Nats/Dodgers game, the home plate umpire Alan Porter made a terrible call (like really really really terrible) that gave the Dodgers a free run that ended up being the difference in the game.  It wasn't very surprising, here are a few other things that Alan Porter has done:


  1. Walks into Target, face smashes into exit door that doesn't open.
  2. Walks across the street without looking both ways, hit by bus.
  3. Meets someone who introduces themself, says "I didn't catch your name".
  4. Walks down the street, directly into a telephone pole.
  5. Sits down on a bench that says "Wet Paint", needs new pants.
  6. Someone yells "FORE", gets hit in the head with golf ball.
  7. Smoke Detector goes off due to fire, stays inside.
  8. Puts his glass of milk next to glue, ends up in emergency room for drinking glue.
  9. Speeding but gets arrested for evading cops, cops had sirens and lights behind him for 20 miles.
  10. Atomic bomb explodes 2 feet away, says he didn't see it.
Get it, he ISN'T PAYING ATTENTION!

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